4 reasons why emotions are out of control

1. We can all understand that emotions can get out of control when someone has experienced an intense event. Whether this is a traumatizing event or a big emotional event like a divorce, the collapse of a business or losing a big chunk of money in the stock market, we can imagine this is upsetting and will be upsetting for the foreseeable future. So when someone that is in a situation like this seems to “lose it” over the undesirable outcome of a hairdressers visit, we can connect the emotional outburst to the bigger event that has preceded the hairdresser's visit.

Can emotions ever be within our control?

2. Emotions are our natural and genuine reactions to events. We can lessen or intensify emotional reactions with training and programming as we have seen in cults for example. When the people closest to us instruct and reward us for having an emotional reaction that is aligned with the vision of the group the natural reaction can be suppressed, misguided or enlarged yet the genuine and natural reactions will remain in the background as an anchor to which one can always return. 

We have some form of control in how we chose to express our emotions. I think that statement is more true than having control over our emotions.

Emotional expressions:

  • Crying

  • Having a screaming match

  • Plot revenge

  • Deny towards ourselves the emotional event took place so we do not have to deal with the fallout

We need to feel our emotions to reduce the particular emotional charge we are dealing with. Plotting and executing revenge is no guarantee for reducing bothersome emotions. Bottling emotions up inside is also not a way to reduce the emotional charge. In fact, it can be a destructive tactic. To read more about how to process emotions and all that can go wrong in the process check out The Big Emotion Blog.

3. Psychoses. Luckily only a small part of the population suffer from psychoses. A friend of mine got into psychoses and bought a company he was not capable to run. Thereby losing his life savings because he felt inspired and capable in the moment. It is a tragedy that in the year 2019 there is no treatment that is covered by insurance that is successful for people with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

4. They are faking it. Big displays of emotions are also used to manipulate people. Crying with no tears is the only direct proof we can use to call out the perpetrator. It is a sad state of affairs when adults are pretending to cry and what is even more concerning is what is being shielded behind that façade.

To successfully process emotions there are 5 steps you can take. The first 3 steps facilitate the processing of emotions, the 4th step is gaining strength and the 5th step is a bonus that can be explained but it is way more fun and meaningful to emerge yourself in that experience. You can start this process today with my online workshop .

Stefania Pönitz - Illkiller 

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