The Big Emotion Blog
Bijgewerkt op: 4 okt. 2021
Let's break down emotional processing so you can take the first step towards an emotionally stable life today!
In this blog:
Step 1. Being open to.....
The digestive metaphor
Inside step 1. What is behind the technique?
That sounds easy enough so why do people have such a hard time with emotions?
What happens to suppressed emotions?
Trauma **trigger warning**
Does this exercise always work?
A human being is complex yet simplifying is part of our nature. We do not think twice about swallowing or looking at a screen but when we analyze these processes we discover they are complex. Simplifying is what I have done with the processing of emotions. I was a private practice therapist with a passion for the inner workings of emotions for six years.
Not to oversimplify the resolving of emotions, I must point out that I was caught off guard by the resurfacing of my childhood traumas ten years ago. This has given me special insight on trauma on which I will elaborate at the end of this post. For now we will focus on our garden variety emotions like frustration, sadness and fear.
There are 5 steps to the Sledgehammer Meditation Techniques to process emotions. The first 3 steps recreate the road travelled by emotions which activates the processing of emotions. Steps four and five give you a much needed holistic framework to harmonize your being.
Clients have expressed that the 5 steps are clarifying, effective and pleasant to work with. For a majority of my clients these techniques were so effective that they were able to “move on with their life" and "did not need my help anymore”. These words are music to my ears.
Step 1. Being open to……
When you want to process an emotional event the first step is being open to all emotions, reactions and thoughts that might transpire. A small event can have us melting down on the kitchen floor while we seem unfazed by huge events (more insights on that later). We do not know beforehand which thoughts and decisions will result from an emotional event so we have to be open to the entire spectrum of possibilities.
The following mantras can be used to execute step 1. These mantras are templates so you can formulate them tailored to your personal situation. Meditate on the mantra for 7 minutes. Meditation tips are listed below the mantras.
I am open to my emotions regarding….
I am open to my frustrations regarding “my stolen phone”
I am open to my sadness regarding “my ex-boyfriend leaving me for a taller, thinner, blonder woman”
I am open to my fear that “I might never being able to manifest my goals”
It is possible that executing this first step will immediately get you in touch with your emotions and you are able to process them completely. The first step usually works more like soaking dirty laundry, it is not getting completely clean yet but you are on your way. Step 2 will go into the
emotional experience so if you are not in full contact with your emotions during step 1 that is according to plan.
Start by closing your eyes and focus on calm and deep breathing by expanding your lower belly while breathing in and letting it retract while you are breathing out
Repeat the mantra calmly inside yourself for 7 minutes
Focus loving attention on the mantra
When you are distracted from the meditation do not blame yourself just return to the mantra with loving attention.
You can follow your feelings (not your thoughts) in this meditation. You can focus for example on a feeling of sadness that arises or a tingling feeling in your body. At these times you can let go of the mantra and focus on your feelings. The purpose of the mantra is not the mantra itself. Its purpose is the processing of everything that is connected to the emotional event you are dealing with
To close out the meditation open your eyes and gather yourself for a moment
This is just what I was looking for. I would love a 20 minutes intake to learn more about The Sledgehammer Meditation Workshop
The digestive metaphor
I have been comparing the processing of emotions with the process of digesting food for years. Only having food in the house is not enough to get fed. You have to open your mouth, put food into your mouth, chew on it and swallow it. Just noticing that the food is there is not going to cut it. It is the same with emotions, action has to be taken to start the process. Just noticing them and being annoyed by them does not mean you are processing them.
While digesting food the body takes in valuable vitamins, fats and
proteins. The body discards what it does not need (anymore). Emotions can teach you valuable lessons like staying away from people that make you feel sad which results in strengthening your boundaries and deepening your personality. When you have gained the wisdom of your emotion the fear, sadness and frustration dissolve because they have fulfilled their task.
Inside step 1 – What is behind the technique
When I first heard of energy healing I thought that with the coming of science there was no place for such things anymore. I did not take it seriously to say the least. The tipping point for me came when I started meditating at 18 years old. I started experiening the energy flowing through my body. Meditation also reduced the amount of suffering I was going through with my undiagnosed complex-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder at the time. This opened the door to taking energy healing more serious.
By the time I was 25 years old I had completed the 3 year program to become an aura therapist. This did not fully answer the questions I had regarding emotions yet it gave me a stellar framework to continue building on. The mainstream medical and psychological field also did not offer any answers at the time so after becoming an aura therapist I dove into the world of emotions and this is my hypothesis based on years of training, years of selfreflection and meditation and working with clients for years. If you are not open to this line of thinking I am not here to convince you of the validity of energy healing. I am here to be honest about how I came to my conclusions and I think you will find what I have found at the very least a worthwhile metaphor to understanding the emotional process.
Everything is energy. Like Nicola Tesla said: “If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, vibration and frequency”. The device you are reading this on is energy, you are energy and emotions are energy as well. In the energy healing field we believe that the human energy field consists of chakras (energy centers with a specific function (much like an organ) from which the layers of the aura are formed), the aura (energy forming an oval shape around the body) and meridians that transport energy to different places within the energy system and possibly to the organs as well.
The second chakra is also called the sacral chakra and it is tasked with the management of emotions, sexuality and humor. This chakra is located two finger widths underneath the belly button. Would that be the 'gut feeling' people are always referring to?
The word chakra means wheel. This is derived from its rotating motion. The rotation gives the chakra the ability to open and close. When the sacral chakra is open energy and therefore emotions can enter into it. Inside the chakra the emotional processing takes place. This is where you feel your pain and learn your lessons. When you have implemented the gained wisdom into your being you are able to let go of your fear, sadness and frustrations.
My blinged out version of the sacral chakra. Here the chakra is open so the emotions symbolized by the strings can enter without any resistance.
That sounds easy enough so why do people have such a hard with emotions?
Have you ever tried to hold back tears because crying was not convenient for you at that particular time? With a little bit of practice you can get good at holding back tears. What I believe you are actually getting good at is keeping the sacral chakra closed so emotions cannot enter and the emotions cannot be processed. If those tears do not roll down your face you will consider it a win for that moment.
What happens to suppressed emotions?
The emotions are waiting for a closed door but after ‘the win” of holding back tears this strategy is applied more often and unprocessed emotions will start to pile up. You could imagine these unprocessed emotions clinging together as a ball. This ball is a disturbing factor in the energy system and can lead to depression, aggression and changes to the libido.
The goal of closing oneself of from emotions is to emphasize the pleasant side of life but the inevitable consequence is that the burdensome side gets the overhand. The ball of unprocessed emotions becomes dominant. Emotions regarding different subjects and time periods get tied in together making the ball so big it closes off the sacral chakra so emotions are not able to enter anymore even if the door is opened. In this case there will be a constant presence of sadness, anxiety and frustration boiling just below the surface. Does this sound like anybody you know? Earlier I referred to not knowing what kind of emotional event sends you to the kitchen floor for a reset. This is why a relatively small thing can trigger the whole ball so you go from not having an emotional reaction for a year to melting down over an inaccurately delivered take-out order.
Here we see the sacral chakra closing as far as it can while suppressing the emotions that are already inside and limiting access for new emotions to come in
Trauma – Trigger Warning – If you need to you can skip the following paragraph
Being sad because someone stood you up a bunch of times is an emotion. The sadness of the loss of a loved one is also an emotion. The one has a mild emotional charge and the other one has a large emotional charge. Seeing a loved one being slaughtered before your eyes is of a completely different order. The emotions of a trauma have an extremely heavy burden. Before I described unprocessed emotions as a ball. A trauma can be depicted in the same way however I think the trauma acts more like a bomb going off in the energy system but let’s keep it simple for now and say it is a big ball. The trauma ball can also be bigger than the sacral chakra which could be one of the reasons that traumas cannot be dealt with in a short timeframe. It is simply too much to deal with. If unprocessed emotions were already present before the trauma occurred the trauma ball gets added to the waiting list. Future emotions will also have to stand in line because the emotional processing capability is destroyed for a significant period of time.
A trauma is also a destructive blow to the ego. The way someone perceives him or herself has dramatically changed. Usually trauma victims are robbed of their self-worth. With such a demolished perspective of self, one looks at the world through a demolished lens. The ability to relax and experience safety also gets destroyed. About these two topics alone I could write elaborate blogs because these consequences are so severe, far-reaching and complex. That is why I think a trauma functions more like a bomb because the destruction it causes reaches far beyond the emotions and the sacral chakra. A trauma is much more than an emotion that is processed through the sacral chakra. Only dealing with the emotional part of the trauma is not a sound strategy.
A representation of trauma: an overwhelming amount of emotions spilling out everywhere and crashing the system
Emotional processing should be basic human knowledge. We should all know how to do it and we should all be considered of others working through genuine emotions. As in my case I worked on myself for a decade before my suppressed childhood traumas resurfaced so you really never know what might pop up in your life. If you suspect you might need more help on a personal level please reach out to a professional near you. If you are dealing with trauma first of all I am very sorry you are going through this. Please get in touch with a professional that has years of experience with healing trauma. So many aspects are connected to trauma and they have to be put in a healthy and structured perspective.
Does the mantra always work?
The exercise always has effect. The opening of the chakra is activated by the mantra. The sacral chakra opens or it opens at far as it can and that might be incremental. It can be compared to doing a split during gymnastics. If you are not able to do a split at your first try, you do it as far as you can and that might be minimal but you will work and stretch towards the goal of one day doing that split. Keep in mind to be respectful of your body, your mind and your energy.
Are your ready for step 2?
Contact Stefania through the website and book your intake to see if the workshop is the best next step to take today!
The techniques discussed in this blog have helped my clients have a better understanding of emotions, have less fear and resistance towards emotions and have successfully processed emotions. Allowing them to gain more clarity in their lives and move forward in life with more confidence.